Quite arguably the most challenging element when it comes to dating as you get older is that ever-growing baggage. It’s common sense: the older we get, the more mistakes we have made that tend to stick with us everywhere we go. It may seem impossible just to have a light-hearted, fun first date with so many serious issues to weigh a person down, but we can assure you it’s still achievable. If you know what you’re getting into beforehand, here’s how we suggest you deal with it.
When kids are the “baggage”
It’s simple – if they have kids, and you’re not too excited about it, you probably shouldn’t let it get too far past the first date. Dating someone with kids means committing not only to the person of interest but in time, to their family as well. Investing yourself into someone while not being willing to invest time into their children only means one thing – the relationship is going to burn down in some big, violent flames.
In the end, if you see kids as baggage, you’re looking at the situation from quite a negative view which is far from the truth. If the relationship pursues, kids can add a wonderful dynamic to it. It’s quite the amazing feeling to feel love not only from the person you’re romantically interested in, but also all the people that love that person as well. It brings that sense of belonging and security that comes with family, which will in turn give your relationship a lot more depth.
When the ex is the baggage
Exes can be baggage in two different ways – either they follow a person around in metaphorical terms, or in real life terms. If they follow them metaphorically, it means the experiences shared with their ex left a mark that leaves them insecure, timid, or reluctant in new relationships. When an ex follows someone in real life terms, it’s the constant messages, phone calls, or even surprise visits which can taunt them.
In both situations, you just have to learn to trust your gut. Of course it may be intimidating to be next after such an overbearing ex, but if your instincts tell you they have no feelings left for your ex, then they probably don’t. This being said, don’t ignore when your gut is telling you that something isn’t right. You don’t want to be the fool dedicated to someone who’s not yet willing to do the same for you.
When finances are baggage
Finances can also pose quite the problem in relationships. You may want to do something, say go on a trip that they’re not able to afford. In most cases they will begin to feel inadequate, envious, or even bitter towards the fact that you’re well off and they’re not. In order to get around these issues, be sure you’re constantly reminding them that it doesn’t matter how much money they have, as long as you still get to spend time with them. Whether it’s a night in with some movies or an afternoon walk through the park, be sure that they’re always aware their financial issues don’t put a limit on the love you have for the person they are.