Coming back to the world of dating after your marriage falls apart can either be exciting or terrifying. It is our hope that you approach the even with anticipation, rather than dread—especially after you read this article. There isn’t any denying that people don’t get into a relationship with the intention of getting divorced, but the truth is, it happens every day.
No matter why your relationship ended, you do have control of whether you will be happy going forward. Ideally, you may want to wait at least six months to a year before going back out there to date again. Once that time frame has passed, you can count yourself a member of the dating pool.
The first thing you should always remember that you shouldn’t feel self-conscious about having a marriage that didn’t work out. Being divorced does not mean you are weak or a failure. People come together and get married with the best intentions but sometimes those good intentions aren’t enough if the people aren’t compatible or they aren’t in the same stage in their lives. You should never attempt to date with the feeling like the failed marriage is your mark of shame.
Dating Won’t Feel “Normal”
Once you begin dating again, it can feel like one crazy rollercoaster ride, especially after you’ve been married. In the beginning, dating may feel like an arduous task that is so archaic and tedious, you might start rethinking the whole thing. If you want to find success while dating after divorce, you’ve got to be prepared to go through the process, no matter how unpleasant you find it.
Focus on Having Fun and Not Finding A Relationship
One of the biggest mistakes newly divorced people make is believing that they have to date to find a new life partner. When you’ve been married for any length of time, you have to get in touch with who you are as a person—a single person. You can go out and date around if you want, but you should avoid getting into another relationship for some time. This stretch of being single will let you rediscover your passions in life, but it will also allow you to figure out what you want out of a relationship and partner.
Use Dating as a Way to Experience New Things
Some people don’t look forward to dating because they feel like it will be a stream of boring dates that you’ve done time and time again. Instead, make it a point to use dating as a way to get out there and try new things. For example, if you’ve always wanted to go fishing with someone, you can find yourself someone who enjoys fishing and is willing to show you how to do it. If you’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar, you could start dating a musician who can teach you. By looking at dating as an opportunity to experience new things (or even revisit some long-forgotten favorite activities), you are keeping things fresh and exciting.